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A Meditation on Two Obscure Hymns

by Daniel Szczesniak
 
This last Sunday we sang an old hymn by John Newton – author of
Amazing Grace – written way back in 1779. It’s a great poem, but even with the updated music by Indelible Grace I Asked the Lord That I Might Grow can be a tough one to wrap your mind around at first.
 
However, if you take the time to read through it, think through it, and meditate on what the hymn is saying, I think you’ll warm up to it as you recognize the truth in your own experience.

I Asked the Lord That I Might Grow

The hymn starts off with a prayer: “I asked the Lord that I might grow in faith, and love, and every grace.” We’ve all been there, haven’t we?

“Lord, please increase my faith.”

“Help me to love You and others more.”

“God, I want to experience more of your grace.”

We recognize that prayer because we’ve all prayed it ourselves in various ways. But then (in our hymn text) we find a twist. God answered the prayer, “but it has been in such a way as almost drove me to despair.”

I don’t know about you, but singing the word “despair” on a Sunday morning still gives me a bit of a shock. And especially so when I realize that I’m singing about how it is the Lord who has “driven” me to that place (verse 2).

In praying that prayer for Him to increase my faith, I was hoping (verse 3) that He would “at once” answer my request by helping me resist sin and give me peace and rest in my heart. But no; it would not be so simple. Instead of this (verse 4), He made me more aware of my sin and depravity. And to top it off, He even let the enemy with “all the angry powers of Hell” attack me!

This was not what I had wanted at all. Now, instead of some great joy-filled plateau of a spiritual Instagram-worthy sunrise, I’m feeling guilty and discouraged. I’m alone except for those who would attack and accuse me. I might even say – despite the “faith” I claim to have – that God Himself was purposefully aggravating me (verse 5), destroying the image I had in my head of my great life of faith, and basically knocking me down.

“Why is this happening to me?” I cried (verse 6). “I know You’re sovereign over my trials, but this is ridiculous!” What is going on?

Perhaps it strikes you as odd that it is at this point that God finally speaks.

Wouldn’t you think I would hear His voice when I was at my high point, praying for increased faith and love? In this hymn, God doesn’t answer there. No; at least, not in the way we typically think. He answers when I get to the point of feeling like a stupid worm being hunted to death.

An aside – this is pretty strong language for the average Sunday morning. It feels weird to sing, “Are You going to pursue me, someone who is just a worm, to death?” But the language is actually fairly typical when you compare it to the Psalms.

So how does God answer when He finally speaks? Verses 6-7: “This is how I answer these prayers, My child: I use these trials to cure you of self and pride, so that you would cast aside your schemes of earthly joy and seek Me as your all in all.”

That’s quite a lesson in seven short stanzas.

Here’s the full text:
 
I asked the Lord that I might grow
In faith and love and every grace
Might more of His salvation know
And seek more earnestly His face
 
Twas He who taught me thus to pray
And He I trust has answered prayer
But it has been in such a way
As almost drove me to despair
 
I hoped that in some favored hour
At once He’d answer my request
And by His love’s constraining power
Subdue my sins and give me rest
 
Instead of this He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart
And let the angry powers of Hell
Assault my soul in every part
 
Yea, more with His own hand He seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed
Cast out my feelings, laid me low
 
Lord why is this, I trembling cried
Wilt Thou pursue thy worm to death?
“Tis in this way,” the Lord replied,
“I answer prayer for grace and faith
 
“These inward trials I employ
From self and pride to set thee free
And break thy schemes of earthly joy
That thou mayest seek thy all in me.”
 

So this first old hymn provided an illustration for us of how God answers prayer and builds up our faith through trials. These trials teach us to lay aside our self and our pride and cling to the Lord.

But how do we do this? Where do we get the strength to endure while God does His sanctifying work? That question brings us to our next obscure hymn.

God is My Strong Salvation

Written in 1822 by James Montgomery, God is My Strong Salvation is a loose paraphrase of the twenty-seventh Psalm. The hymn’s theme is that it is God Himself who supplies our strength to endure trials: in darkness and temptation, when faint and desolate, God is our strong salvation.

The third verse describes our part in this: “Place on the Lord reliance; my soul, with courage wait.” The way this is done is presented with an archaic term – “His truth be your affiance.”

When you hear the word affiance, think “fiancé.” It means “pledge (in marriage); trust; confidence.” When we sing “His truth be your affiance,” we’re reminding ourselves that God’s Word is His pledge to us. His Word is like an engagement ring. It’s something that we can hold on to, something that promises us that in Him, in His strong arms, we find all that is good for us.

That is why the hymn concludes as it does with verse four; and that final verse is the true and full answer to our initial prayer to grow in faith and love and every grace.

God is my strong Salvation:
What foe have I to fear?
In darkness and temptation
My Light, my Help is near
 
Though hosts encamp around me
Firm to the fight I stand
What terror can confound me
With God at my right hand?
 
My soul, with courage, wait:
His truth be your affiance
When faint and desolate
 
His might your heart shall strengthen
His love your joy increase
Mercy your days shall lengthen:
The Lord shall give you peace.

Amen.



All I Have is Christ

– A Prayer from Elder Bill Pritchett

allihaveistwo
Father God,

Thank you for the reminder that while we might think we know the way through this life, that the sin and temptation that promises joy and life actually leads to our destitution. That if You had not loved us first, we would refuse You still. We confess Father that we still can struggle in this area, that we are still tempted to look to other things to satisfy ourselves. That we still think that we know the way and that our way is best.

Lord God, our sins are too heavy to carry, too real to hide, and too deep to undo. Forgive what our lips hesitate and tremble to name, what our hearts can no longer bear, and what has become for us a consuming fire of judgment. Set us free from a past that we cannot change; open to us a future in which we can be changed; and grant us grace to grow more and more in your likeness and image, through Jesus Christ, the light of the world.

Lord, we ask that You fix our eyes back on You. That we are constantly reminded of our need of a savior and that that reminder is beautifully refreshing and causes us to cling to the truths of the gospel.

You are good and You show us more grace everyday than we could ever deserve. You are faithful and do not let us be plucked out of Your hand, even when that is what our fate should be.

Father, in light of the election, we pray for the leaders of this country, whether today or those that will be assuming office in a few months. We pray for humility and wisdom and that those who do not know You and call You Lord, that their heart will be softened toward You. Father, it seems with this election specificity that no matter who is elected, many will be unhappy and frustrated. Let us be different, let us be a light, let our confidence in You not be shaken. That we will remind ourselves and others that You appoint the leaders. Let our response or reaction not be one of prideful boasting or fear and despair, but one that reflects our trust in You and Your sovereignty.

Whether the election, or frustration or stress with our jobs, or tension at home, or the reminder that our body is susceptible to disease, fix our eyes on You. Give us the strength to say “Hallelujah! All I have is Christ; Hallelujah! Jesus is my life”.

It is in His name that we pray, AMEN



Behold the Glory of Christ!

(Communion meditation by Bill Pritchett)

“Oh to behold the Glory of Christ! Here in would I live, Here in would I die, here on would I dwell in my thoughts and my affections until all things here below become as dead and deformed things, and in no longer, any way, calling out for my affections” ~ John Owen

I think that many of us can at times fall into one of two categories…in one we acknowledge that we are sinners in a very general sense, but overall we think we are not too bad…or, the second one…we have sinned and we can’t seem to let it go and we allow this sin to become our identity.

In both instances we are dealing with our own pride. We focus on ourselves and those around us or on the news and we can think that since we are not that bad we only have a generic need for Jesus. Or, we can think that we are so bad so sinful so wretched that Jesus’ blood could not possibly be sufficient to cover our sin. In both cases, we have made the object of our own affection something other than Jesus.

As this quote from John Owen reminds us, if we could fully grasp and fathom the Glory of Christ we would not want to let it go. “Here in would I live, Here in would I die, Here on would I dwell in my thoughts and my affections until all things here below become as dead and deformed things, and in no longer, any way, calling out for my affections.

In Galatians chapter 2 versus 20-21 it says: “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not nullify the grace of God, for if justification were through the law, Christ died for no purpose.”

When we stop fixing our eyes on Christ and instead fix them on ourselves, we stop being in awe of the realities of the cross and just how great our debt is and how overwhelming it is that our debt is paid. If we are nothing more than morally neutral then we rob grace of all that it is…the better we think we are, the less we think we need it, the less amazing grace becomes. When we see grace as not sufficient enough to deal with our sin then we have decided that grace must meet us and meet our standards.

Randy Alcorn says: “Grace isn’t about God lowering His standards. It’s about God fulfilling those standards through the substitutionary suffering of the standard-setter. Christ went to the cross because He would not ignore the truths of His holiness and our sin. Grace never ignores or violates truth. Grace gave what truth demanded: the ultimate sacrifice of our sins.”

If you’re not sure you are really that bad, if you acknowledge that you are a sinner, but really only in a general and generic ways…

Romans 3:23 famously says “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus,”

As John Piper says “Sin is what you do when your heart is not satisfied with God”

If you struggle to believe that God loves you just as you are even though you are a sinner…

Zephaniah 3:17 says “The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.”

We desperately need to behold the Glory of Christ. We need to see ourselves as the sinful wretch that we are…and then not stay there, not leave it there, but let that direct our affections to Christ, that we might be in even more awe over the Cross, even more humbled over the Cross…that as we see the Glory of Christ as we see the sin in our hearts, as we see that this is the same Christ that died on the cross, that we see Jesus as sufficient and all that we need. That the things that once robbed our affections for Christ are now becoming dead and deformed things no longer calling out for our affections.

Father God,

We confess our tendency to be too ‘routine focused’ and not in awe enough of the realities of communion or of our relationship with You in general. I pray that our affections toward You continue to be increased. Help us to put off sin and to put on the things that are of You. Help us to be less concerned about our own comforts and more concerned with honoring You with our words and our deeds. We recognize that we are sinners in need of a savior and we thank You that in Your grace You have provided that savior. We don’t deserve Your love or Your grace and You give it freely.  It is in Jesus’ holy name that we pray, AMEN